Monday, February 8, 2016

Identity of my own


I look unto You for salvation.  I am scared.  I don't know who I am in Christ.  I can pray all I want and read the Bible as much as I can.  I still have no idea what to do or say.  It was as if I really didn't mean it.  I have had this problem for a long time and I am asking for an answer from You.  I need help, Lord.  I wish I could just say with confidence that I am not lost.  I ask that I will be assured that I am saved and not lost.  I don't like feeling this way.  It isn't based on what I watch on tv or what I see in movies.  I have no real dilemmas about nor does it usually wake me up.  However, it is based on reality so I know that I have an issue.  I wonder if I were not saved would I have this problem.  I also wonder if I had faith to begin with.  If I did why do I keep asking for You to save me and give me the assurance of my salvation.  I am not assured of my salvation.  I strongly believe that Your word is true.  All things were created by the Lord through You, Lord.

I may have said it wrong and I apologize.  I hate my sins because I don't revel in them.  I know that I am not perfected, but I often focus not just on being perfected, but I also focus on a ticket to Heaven.  I don't want to focus on salvation being a ticket to Heaven.  Yes, I want to go to Heaven, no doubt.  I do want to spend time with You, but I want to be assured that I am the real deal because I was saved by the True God and that is You.  I have been reading Your word online.  Where does repentance fit into salvation? Where does baptism also fall into salvation?  Where can I find information on things that are true and things that are not written in Your word?  I admit that I have a lot to learn, but I also want to know for myself.  I don't want to be deceived anymore than I don't want to have any mind of my own.  You created us all to have our own opinions and to stand on our two feet.  Lord, I need help in that area as well.  My main problem to all of this is a lack of identity.  Who am I in Christ Jesus?  Who am I, period?

I ask this in Your name,