Friday, June 16, 2017

Pouring my heart out


I want to be with You.  I don't want to be left behind.  I have had this fear for years and finally, I not only feel better, I am better.  It is all because of You, Lord.  I want to be a witness to You.  I ask You for wisdom and guidance, since I don't have anything.  I really wish I knew I was doing in my own life.  I feel as if I cannot do anything right.  Nothing seems right for me.  It is as if everything goes wrong for me.  Maybe I brought it on my own self.  Whatever the case may be, I feel like I have been feeling insulted.  I just have no idea what to do.  It is as if I am just like a child.  That is how I have been treated.  I cannot take it anymore. 

I have been living in fear, anxiety, and intimidation, and these are the reasons why.  I need Your help.  Show me what I need to do.  I ask for wise counsel and discernment.  I am not a child.  I sometimes wonder if there is any love or respect that they have for me sometimes.  Maybe they deep down just don't like me.  I am not so sure.  In a way, I have cared what other people thought for years.  It is I have nothing of my own, no mind of my own, and no self respect. Lord, how do I change that?  How do I break those hard habits, which seem so impossible to do so?  Where do I begin?  I need You to show me and I will do it.  Help me, Lord.  In Your name,